I got my blood pumping this morning with a new record (The Kills’ album Blood Pressures from last year) and a near beat-down of a couple of ignorant, loud-mouthed rednecks in Waffle House and after that I took a drive.

My first destination was a small community between St. Jo and KC that I quickly crossed off my list of desirable places to live.  After that, I decided to seek out the Trader Joes and Whole Foods in KC to purchase myself some healthy food for the rest of the week.  On the way home, I took note of cross streets and neighborhoods that looked promising and timed out the drive from several strategic locations.  Much to my surprise, I could live smack in the middle of downtown KC and it’s only a 50 minute drive to my office (only).  Granted, the traffic flowed freely today, so I probably shouldn’t count on that.

I got back to St Jo, ate a healthy lunch from my shopping excurstion and found a nice parkway through a swanky part of town where they’ve actually maintained the gorgeous old homes.  I took a run that was much shorter than I intended (because as I’ve mentioned in previous posts, not only have I become a bit flabby of late, I’ve also become very out of shape).  Still, the head-clearing magic occurred and I’m able to face tonight with a bit more perspective — here’s the highlights.

• My job is going to be fantastic.  I get to use my degree (for which I still owe 80 grand), people care what I think (in fact I’m considered an “expert”, no laughing), and a lot of people will kill to have this organization call and offer them a job out of the blue.
• My co-workers are totally rad.
• I’m young (maybe not to some of you). I have a lot of time to find the perfect job/place combination.
• I’m young (yes, young).  Have I really earned the right to living in perfect happiness/peace/comfort?  Probably not.
• It’s soooo cheap to live here and City Data tells me that I’ll be making well above the median income.  Save money. Pay off student loan. Do what you want.
• There are some rad neighborhoods in KC. I know people there! Maybe we can hang out.
• Quit being a whiny twat.

I think that covers it. Healthy dinner out of the mini-fridge forthcoming…and I need a refill.

I was beyond thrilled to see the familiar and comforting yellow sign of Waffle House and really looked forward to scarffing a plate of eggs and toast with a bowl of grits and some bacon on the side and then linger over a few cups of coffee while I caught up on some reading I need to do for the week ahead.  Unfortunately, the House o’ Waffles may be a Southern staple, but we are not in the South and you sure can’t take away the stench of Nowhereville. I ended up sitting at the counter beside a couple of harmless looking old men, but I quickly realized that it would take all of my willpower not to give them a tongue lashing or “accidentally” spill my coffee in their laps. I’ve never heard people treat a waitress so rudely.

Finally though, their conversation turned raunchy so mid-bite I put down my fork, gathered my belongings, and went to pay. Unfortunately, when I got to my car I realized that in my rush to exit the premises I forgot to leave a tip. Shit! So I went back in, hunted down my waitress and apologized profusely. From the time I got up to pay to the time I walked out the door for the last time, the ring-leader of the band of buttholes at the counter looked me up and down in a manner completely inappropriate for a man his age (or any age really). So as I walked past the last time, I looked him square in the eye and gave him the best “eat shit and die” look I could muster and left.

Really y’all, this town is so awful that it’s almost become funny. Almost. I didn’t get to finish my coffee.

7:30 PM:  Yes, I am drinking Jamo out of a plastic cup in a craptastic hotel in Nowhereville, MO. Yes, I am about to take a melatonin and go to bed. Don’t judge, I had a poopy day.

I’ve always been really good at finding the gems and cool places in a town, I’m just innately drawn to them.  But I drove around all damned day today and didn’t find anything besides chain restaurants, big box stores, and shit holes (and not charming shit holes, which do exist). So, I’ve been poking around on-line tonight just trying to see if I’m missing something.  Apparently I’m not missing anything, this really is just a horrible place to live.

Here’s some of my favorite quotes so far:

“Try to find a good restaurant in the town. They are few and far between. I think by now some St. Joe natives reading this post are saying “uh, what about Olive Garden, Famous Dave’s BBQ, Cheddars, Barbosas, or Applebees.” Well, by GOOD RESTAURANT I do not mean something like these places. Fine dining does not exist. Healthy dining does not exist. St. Joe is full of a bunch of Ryan’s and Golden Corral enthusiasts”

I tried.  Ended up eating Taco Johns for dinner.

“People in St. Joe accept mediocracy as excellence and take offense to people with vision and standards. The people are not nice for some reason. St. Joe is kind of like the bitchy ugly girl – as ugly as she is, you think she would be nice. I don’t get it.”

On come on, that’s just funny.  Thankfully, I Haven’t been here long enough to experience that.

“Saint Joseph is a great place to live… as long as you’re at least half dead.”

Seriously.  I already feel my soul dying a little bit.

“As far as many of our beautiful historic homes, yes, they are worth saving, but figure on installing a really good security system, and look into good restoration fencing, OK? Those homes are relics of a long-gone time when St. Joseph was a viable city… I wonder if that old wood and terra cotta can grieve…?”

This is what I was talking about in my earlier posts.  Gorgeous old architecture going to waste.

“There’s nothing here for young, active adults. Note the conspicuous lack of an entire segment of population present in most cities this size… look hard, you won’t find a bohemian community”

I noticed this.  Since I’ve been here, I’ve seen no one in my age bracket that I would consider hanging out with.

“think of the cracker barrel only way more crackerish…”

bwhaaa!!!  In reference to one of the “good” restaurants in town

First Impressions:  I just got back to the hotel after a morning of wandering around. Son of a gun, this is a really sad town. I can tell it use to be “somewhere” as there are a ton of great historic buildings and homes…most of which are either completely abandoned and/or falling into disrepair. I’m sure I’d find this charming and look for the bright side if I wasn’t trying to find a place to live here.  As it is, it’s just depressing.  Downtown has a completely post-apocalyptic feel. Even the area around an old factory that has been converted to lofts has no life around it. No restaurants, no bars, no stores, just run down old houses.

The hour commute to KC is looking like less and less of a problem. And I’m feeling very frustrated and even more sad to be leaving Athens.

For those of you that haven’t heard, I was offered (and accepted) a job with a breed association.  I really wasn’t looking for a new job, but it sort of fell in my lap and I”m sure looking forward to a (hopefully) more manageable schedule and a bit more confidence that I’ll have a job a year from now. At some point, I will be relocating to the Kansas City area, but for the immediate future my address shall remain in Athens, GA.

As part of this new leaf, I’ve also recommitted to trying to live healthier.  People that haven’t seen me for a few years still comment about how much weight I’ve lost. But, in reality, I fell of the wagon about the time I went to London and since then exercise and healthy eating have been spotty at best.  I’ve been feeling pretty run down,  I know for a fact that I’ve got pretty soft in the last few months, and my skinny jeans and tee’s aren’t really looking that great any more.  The degree of my slip was really brought to light yesterday when I went out for what should have been a quick/easy run and ended up struggling my way through it.  To be fair, it is allergy season here already and it’s really hard to run (or breathe in general) while choking on a ball of snot in your throat.  However, in addition to gasping for air, my muscles became exhausted much more quickly than they should have.

With that in mind, this blog may start having a semi-weekly feature to help keep me accountable for living healthier.

So far:

I started today with 20 minutes of mild stretching yoga while I waited for the coffee to brew followed by coffee/breakfast on the back porch and a nice 8.2 mile hike.  I’m planning to live off the Farm Box for meals this week.  Last night, I made up a recipe for a pot of Lima Beans and Tonight I shall take my first stab at Collard Greens.

Onward and upward!

From the trail...about mile 5

If you’ve been following my FB page or Athens news, you likely know that there’s a huge hubbub regarding an out-of-town developer wanting to stick a damn Wal-Mart on a prime piece of real estate downtown. Talk about a vibe-killer.  Ew, Yuck, Awful.

As a response to that, here’s a song by Athens’ own Partterson Hood, joined in the vid by other local musicians. The song is also available for download on The Truckers webpage

Last night, I made myself a yummy little pasta dish and washed it down with a moderately-sized glass of red wine.  I then settled in to make a friend a Lucero mix before heading out to catch a show at Georgia Theater.

Well, about the time the pasta and wine took effect, this song came on.

By the time it was over, I’d about convinced myself to stay home, listen to sad music and go to bed early (bluegrass just sounded so….happy. And I wasnt really feeling happy).

Anyway, in the interest of my current vow to get all the life I can out of Athens before leaving, I did end up going out. My favorite bartender was working, so I ordered up a Yuengling and caught the tail end of the High Strung String Band set.  I’d seen them once before at an Americana festival at Little Kings and remember them being a really high-energy, talented bunch of guys.

I did catch all of the Seven Handle Circus (who hilariously covered Jump Around).  Probably my favorite song from their set was one from their new EP (Whiskey Stills & Sleeping Pills) called I’ve Been Around the World. It comes across with much more of a punch live as I think they polished the edge off of it a bit too much for the record (same with most of the songs), but you can listen to the whole EP on Spotify here.  Or Band Camp here.

Also listened to the unfortunately named Yo Soybean, a local band.  I ended up being pleasantly surprised, though I’d sure like to see them in a smaller venue as they really got talked over by the folks showing up for the next band. Probably their best received song was Paradise Found, which can be heard here.

The headliner was Packway Handle Band who kicked off their set with I’m Waiting For My Man (Velvet Underground).  I unfortunately only caught bits and pieces of their show because some guy chose to latch onto me and talk my ear off. So I listened politely for a while and then found a good excuse to disappear my way home.

Now isn’t that a better story than sitting home alone and crying in my bourbon over sad Lucero songs?

***Note:  Those of you that follow my Tumblr have already read the full (funnier) version of this, I know that.  This used to be my primary blog until I found out that my mother and other family read it.  Thus, it’s become a bit more family-friendly as I doubt my mother wants to read about me getting invited to a strip club (no,  I didn’t go…thought I should clarify).

It is such a Earthy/Springtime/Grateful Deadish/uplifting record and I love it to pieces. The whole thing just sounds like my kind of sunny, front-porch sittin’, hanging out with friends, cold beer drinking day.  If this album doesn’t make you happy, you really really have to be a miserable SOB, and I’m afraid there’s no hope for you.

In fact, after being home for the longest stretch ever since moving to Athens, I found myself a little stir-crazy on Friday (see exhibit A) so after I got back from my run and ate dinner, I poured my self a glass of the good stuff (Exhibit B) and had a mini-hippie-solo dance party (floppy hat and all) and I had a blast.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

My favorite song on the album is probably the aforementioned Love the Way You Walk Away. Not only is it a fantastic song, but I’m also quite fond of the video, which features a lot of my favorite things like firearms and campfires and fireworks and beer and old barns.

Hope you’ll pick this one up and enjoy it as much as I do

Drive-by Truckers with The Futurebirds – 40 Watt, Athens

What a brilliant way to kick off the 2012 year in shows, two hometown bands played my favorite venue in Athens.  The Futurebirds opened the show and Patterson came out to end their set with a kicked-up version of Wild Heart. They really are such a fun, fun band.  I then got to spend the evening hanging out and dancing my ass off with the rest of the gang in Cooleyville until I escaped for a cold beer and some fresh air during the encore break.  For those wondering,  David Barbe filled in on bass for the Athens gigs, though I understand he’s probably not the permanent replacement for Shonna.  I also understand that I should have made more of an effort to go back for the night when Alabama Shakes opened, a very hard-to-impress pal from The Roadhouse gang told me they’re the best live band he’s seen for a long time.

Langhorne Slim with Holy Ghost Tent Revival – 40 Watt, Athens

I’ll just say right up front that they easily could have reversed the billing on this as HGTR brought down the house. I really don’t even know how to describe their sound. They could probably be called a roots band…but there’s horns, and banjo, and guitar, and keys, and bass, and drums all mixed into a ridiculous, fabulous racket.  After their set, about a third of the crowd left and took a lot of the enthusiasm from the room with them.  I stayed for about 3/4 of Langhorne’s set and what I watched was good…just not mind blowing.  Since I’d driven home from Murfreesboro that evening, I was worn out and headed home (only to be awake until 4:00 in the moring.  Stinking insomnia).

Old 97′s, Rhett Miller, The O’s – 40 Watt, Athens

I almost stayed home last night.  But, since my time in Athens may be coming to an end pretty soon, I’m going to make every effort to suck the life out of it before I go.  Suffice it to say, that I drug my feet long enough that I only got to see the last song from The O’s, but it was super high energy (perfect opener for the 97s) and I really wish I’d have made it out earlier.  Rhett came out and did a few numbers solo and then the rest of the 97s joined him, but not before Murray mysteriously disappeared from the stage for a minute.  Later, he fessed up that his fly was down (or “my barn door was open” as he put it) and he didn’t want to horrify the people in the front row. It was the best 97s show that I’ve seen in a long time, all of the energy you expect from them but with out the canned/forced stage banter that sometimes comes with their shows.  I wish I’d have kept track of the set list…but I decided to just enjoy the show so I’m afraid this is a pretty craptastic show review.

Recorded Stuff:

Other than the Black Keys new one, I haven’t really been listening to too much new stuff because I’ve been completely infatuated with The Star Room Boys’ Why Do Lonely Men and Women Want To Break Each Others Hearts?  Man, I’d have killed to live in Athens when they were still kicking around.

Sometimes (frequently) I use this thought time for day-dreaming, which is nice because I often wake up and find myself 30 or 50 or 100 miles further down the road than when I last looked at the odometer.

Sometimes I use it to make mental “to-do” lists or think about work things, or go over conversations in my head.

Sometimes I’ll be driving along and and important things I should have done but had long since forgotten pop into my mind (I have mentioned that this job has caused my personal life to be a disorganized disaster, right?).

Well, on my drive to Tennessee on Thursday I did plenty of daydreaming, but I also had one of those things “forgot about” things pop into my mind.  What was it?  How about a speeding ticket I got back at Thanksgiving.  I’m pretty sure the fine is due and/or court appearance to dispute it is this week or was last week.  Unfortunately, I’ve long since misplaced the ticket and I no longer have any recollection of what city or county I was in when I received said ticket.  I also couldn’t tell you if it was a city cop, a county sheriff, or a hi-po who wrote me the ticket. Top of the to do list tomorrow is to start making phone calls.

On a lighter note, it did end up being a really lovely drive on the Appalachian Foothills Parkway through Northwest Georgia.  I was also lucky enough to be driving over Nickajack Lake just about the time the sun was going down.  Between the reflection on the water and the hills off in the distance, it really was a sight to behold.

The drive back was not nearly so interesting as it rained to whole damn way AND I got stuck in traffic in Chattanooga and Atlanta.  Here’s where boredom set in about mid-way through that drive.